Friday, August 16, 2013

How do you find the way?

Re-inventing mother is not easy.  You may want to click away now if positive and cheery is what you expect.  This blog came to existence because of a need to find my way.  There was a time when I possessed the fiery personality of my own mother.  I stood up for myself and fought against all that I believed was wrong.  Living through the illnesses and deaths of parents, the pain adult children have brought, and rejection from a lost job and subsequent rejection in not finding another has quenched the fire.  I find myself, most of the time, being complacent.  The doormat.  Not able or willing to confront the bullying.

" When God closes a door, He will open another" or " stress is the antithesis of trust" are  familiar and true statements, but hard to hold onto when you can't find the doorknob or even know how to trust anymore; when promises aren't kept and you feel your only needed for one thing, but not wanted.

The days are busy, but lonely and when those words are laughed at the quicksand pulls you deeper. When there is no conversation with adults the thought turn into yourself , when really the need is to turn toward others.

Migraines have reared their heads.  This is new to me and not welcomed.  Hardly unexpected when your emotions and heart cannot find your head.

Prayer is the answer. Love is the action.   I just need to find the way.


  1. I understand exactly how you feel. Sometimes we need to distance ourselves from problems to get a better perspective. Also, I think it helps to have women friends to talk to if they are someone you can trust. And like you said, lots of prayer.

  2. These days for you are not a whole lot unlike my early days of 'motherhood'....children 24/7; a husband on shiftwork---so no one around; new to a community, so no friends--and with that move, I had to give up my job and my work dream and potential career. The difference, of course, is there was probably a bit more energy!

    I know we're no substitute for physical---sit next to you knitting and sipping tea friends; But, just know that all of us virtual friends are there for you nevertheless. I pray the migraines get controlled quickly....they are most likely stress induced and not a permanent thing you will always have to deal with.

    I'm sending you lots of virtual hugs and saying a real prayer for strength!

  3. Wanda, I know this place. You want to kick yourself in the butt, pull up your big girl panties and just MOVE ON. But, you can't. Trust that it will happen. Keep giving thanks. Keep praying. Keep knitting your life back together one. stitch. at. a. time. There are seasons... and I think grief for lost hopes, dreams, loves, jobs and particularly family is one of them. There are more seasons in store. Sending a prayer for you... and big {{hugs}}. blessings ~ tanna
    ps it DID work. (this prescription and the gadget) ;)

  4. Wanda, I am so sorry you have this struggle right now. You remain in my prayers, I bet stress and something like a new sensitivity is causing the migraines, do you have Adoration? If so, go. I cannot tell you how many times I've found direction or answers while praying and just being quiet before The Blessed Sacrament.

  5. So sorry about the migraines; do you have a way to channel your grief and disappointments? sometimes if I do not know how to get my emotions out, they will come out instead in illness.

    We don't always know why things happen the way they do, hey? yet God promises not to leave us.

  6. I could have written the first paragraph myself. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

  7. Thinking of you and hope you find your way. Stay strong in your faith and hold on!


  8. Thank you to all for the kind words. I have taken all to heart!