Monday, April 8, 2013

Reinventing might mean lonely



There may not be many of you that can relate to this. Most readers here are young with a connection of friends and family.  I have raised my family and am now caregiver to 3 of my 4 grandchildren.  I was layed off my job last year after 15 years of teaching. It was sudden, unexpected, and because it was in  a Catholic School....heartbreaking.



So now I am at my oldest daughter's house 4 days a week with 3 little ones under 3.  No adult conversation.  Yes, I volunteered to do this, but that does not mean it doesn't come with a price.



When my own daughters were this age I had a vibrant friend connection.  We were all doing the same thing...raising children, trying to make the best decisions so we could to remain at home.  As I have aged, friends have moved away, gone back to work, or developed new friendships.  Most are not doing what I am.



Why am I doing this?  Well, my oldest daughters are in positions where they have to work.  Sadly, they do not have the same options I did.  I did not get the opportunity to spend much time with my grandson when he was born because I was working.  And in the midst of all this, our oldest daughter's nanny had to move.  In the meantime, daughter #2 had another baby.

So now that I have the time I just want to help.  Let me also say they do not live close.  It is a 30 minute drive each way each day.  I also have maybe some sort of idea that I might be able to do this better the 2nd time around!  Have you ever had that thought that if you could just raise your children again knowing what you know now..... Well I have that chance.



But back to the essence of this post.  I have no adults to talk to during the day. Not that there is even time.   I have turned to the blogging/ social media world for my interaction.. I know none of these ladies that I follow, although there are many I would like to meet.  I have a long list of people I "converse" with every day.  Is this healthy?  Normal?  Is there another way?

I do have 2 activities each week that connect me with adults, but those lasting, meaningful friendships?  Nope.  My best friend moved away 23 years ago and although we text, email and visit about once a year it is certainly not the same.

So any suggestions?  I am open to all!!!

8 comments:

  1. In order to help defray the cost of day care, I also helped out my daughter and sil with their babies, although I'm afraid I wasn't quite as generous as you and only had them one day a week. They are both in school now---and while our son (lives way out of town) has an additional 5 children for us to grandparent to......those two boys I helped raise as infants will always have a connection to me that will never be broken.
    Reaching out to blog friends? Of course!!!! In fact, a couple of those bloggers have become really dear friends....and a couple I've ended up meeting--face to face.
    I was raised as an only child....and my dad always said---if you have a good book, you'll never be alone or lonely. I add to that....if you have knitting (and he was the one who taught me to knit!!).

    Those babies won't stay babes forever....treasure those moments.

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    1. Oh you are so wise as well! So glad to see you "visited" me! I love your blog and those daffodils are gorgeous! Too bad we can't swap bulbs. I have some gorgeous St. Joseph lilies about to pop up. They are heirloom only so can't be purchased anywhere.

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  2. I wrote a big comment and then it disappeared...ARGH!! you are fine to have blog friends. I have blog friends and look how normal I am!! I have learned a lot over the past few years from blogs. I started my own and don't have a lot of readers and sometimes that is sad, but then I have to say, I'm really writing for me. Stop over and visit sometime!

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    1. Love your blog! Thanks for including me in your sidebar! I returned the favor!

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  3. From the looks of your pictures, you are warmer than we are. We are just getting rid of the last of the snow. We live near enough to Lake Erie in NYState to get lots of what they refer to as Lake Effect Snow. By now, we are ready for sun.

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  4. I know exactly what you are feeling. I am an empty nester, but for fifteen years, I home schooled my daughter and then two grandsons. Now they are all grown up except one grandson who is in public school grade 10. I don't think there's anything wrong with having internet friends, but I like to meet with my knitting friends every once in a while. If it wasn't for blogging friends, and my crafts, I don't know what I'd do.

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  5. it is a blessing that you are so involved in your Grandkids lives! Our society is so mobile now days - it's hard and that is why a lot of us blog... You may like this blog (one of my blog friends) as she is also a Grandmother: http://gretchenjoanna.blogspot.com/

    It is hard; and it is still good to have in person friends, of course! I hope there is something maybe at your church that can also fill this need for friendship... many blessings to you!

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  6. I agree with Steph. they won't be babies for long. Enjoy them while you are able. I think internet friends are great, but then I am still working and see lots of people daily (mostly under the age of 10 though). In the summer, I treasure my alone time (although that won't happen this year with all 3 back home again.)I think you need a day a week off...seriously. Could they handle that? One day that you could get with a group - either a current church group or start a knitting club. Of if that doesn't work, could you start up a supper club or a bunko group that could meet once a month at your home? Just throwing ideas at you, girl.

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