Monday, February 3, 2014

Reinventing Failed

God uses...


Only God knows our true heart.  Only God knows what others do not see.  Only God can see the crushing of my life line.. the breath being knocked out of me.

This being a mother.  They don't tell you that there is no other role in life that makes you more vulnerable than motherhood.  That when that baby is placed in your arms you lose a piece of your soul.  You give everything from that point forward to that new life.

In a Christ centered family, these little souls are formed.  They become the heartbeat.  And as they grow you work harder and harder to make sure that Christ stays at the center.  That the clanging they hear in the world does not drown out the whispers from God in their hearts.

But they will hurt you.  It always happens.  The world steps in.  Others step in.  And when those others step in you will lose your place.  This is where I tried to reinvent myself.  In some places I have succeeded and in others I have not. This past week I was crushed.

You will know when your heart has been torn.  You can't move.  You can't breathe.  You don't even know yourself.  And you wonder if you can go on. I'm still wondering.

I am praying right now that I can put one foot in front of the other.  I am praying that what is left of me is enough to sustain the rest of my family and my dear husband. I am praying that as this unfolds God will give me the strength to know that I am where He wants me to be.

11 comments:

  1. Prayers for you. I have been there, too. I tell young mothers, "just enjoy them, even though they physically wear you out, just love them and appreciate their beautiful innocence." Because in my heart, and I don't usually tell young mothers this, I know a mother's heart will be broken. Sometimes over and over. And it does feel as if you will never recover. Our Blessed Mother's heart was pierced by this world, and we are not spared either. We just wake up the next morning and keep going because our other children need us. And the child who fell needs us most of all. St. Monica, pray for us.

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    1. Barbara, this is wonderful! I never thought about our Blessed Mother's heart. This helps! Thank you!

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  2. Reinventing failed today...tomorrow begins anew and there is always hope. I love the nine-day novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots. It is so very powerful and comforting when a mother's heart has been torn to itty-bitty shreds by a precious child of hers. Prayers for you from my the itty-bitty shreds of my own heart. :(

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    1. Thank you Cheryl! I am on my way to find it!

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  3. I was/am right there with you last week and weekend. You just cry out to God saying "I can't go another step.."uncle, uncle, uncle!" Keeping you in my prayers.......

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  4. Have you heard of Fr Jacques Phillipe book, "searching for and Maintaining Peace"? Please order it. If you don't love it and it does not bring you a few deep breaths, I will pay you for it. Im praying for you. . . .

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  5. *sigh*, my heart is just breaking for you! Let's get together soon!

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