Remembering Mother this week.....

This week's posts may be a little depressing even though I am continuing to try to find joy in the moments. Five years ago today my mother suffered a massive stroke that took her life less than 48 hours later.  It was the culmination of some very hard years, ones that I really may never recover from. Her passing made me the only surviving person in our family.  I had buried my father, only sibling and brother, step father, and now my mother. The last 3 of these I had been holding as they breathed their last.

The blessing in my mother's end of life care was the fact that during her last year she was living in a Personal Care Home that was 2 doors down from our own home.  Several of these homes have popped up across our city and this one was a God send.  She was so close that I placed a baby monitor in her room and the other end in my kitchen so I could hear her when I wasn't there. When my oldest daughter married, one of the aides even helped me by bringing her to the wedding and reception!  They were marvelous!

The last 3 years of her life I cared for her after she had a nervous breakdown the day my step father passed.  For the next 10 days she would not get out of bed.  We had around the clock care until the decision was made to bring her home with us.  She stayed in our house for 2 years until she began to fall.  Since my husband and I were both working, we had to make other arrangements.  Initially, she went to an assisted living very close to us, but the anger she spewed at me over that decision brought me to my knees.  It was the discovery of this PCH and new medication that saved us all.

She was well cared for during her last year and I spent time with her every day.  We would have end of day conversations and on the weekend  I would just wheel her over to my house to spend the day.  It worked perfectly!

As she began to deteriorate, those visits became less frequent, so I spent more time in her room. Then the call came that something was wrong.  I bolted over there and made the necessary calls, thus beginning 2 very long days.

Tomorrow I will make the trip to the cemetery.  She and my dad are buried at the DFW National Cemetery.  A beautiful and thoughtful place for veterans and their families.

Pray with me through these days. They have not become easier with time and some say they should.  I continue to ask for God's grace and mercy.